I decided that I would blog about how I feel and some personal issues here simply because I don't want the world knowing on Facebook, and I'm pretty sure no one reads this blog. Also, while I have friends I can talk to, after that I feel better for a bit then my mind gets to me.
It's better to just write it, put it out there, and try my darndest to forget about it or accept it.
I just found out that Jamie's ex is staying with his mom in the UK.
While I have no problem with either of them, I have a problem with his seemingly unended relationship with her, via her things in his home (which I helped pack and move 3 times since we dated), and his extended relationship with her family and vice-versa. It's hurtful to know that you are not the only one in someone's heart. It's very painful to have promises not kept and knowing that general apathy is all you will get for the tears you weep.
All I wanted was a completely clean start. That's what I give to anyone I date, that's what I deserve and expect in return. So that things like that don't happen and catch you by surprise.
You do so much for someone, that it eats into your own activities and your life. But you don't mention it because that's what love is - it's sacrifice despite the inconvenience or subsequent trouble. And sometimes, you just want to know it's appreciated - that it was worth it because someone loves you back.
And when said person doesn't show it, it's a blow to the heart, the ego, a slap in the face, all of that - to remind you that you're exactly like that pathetic girl in the movies who hopelessly does everything for the man she loves, only to be spurned, and the everyone in the audience - they can see everything, and they egg her to break up with him, to move on, she's better than that - only she doesn't think so.
The worst thing about knowing all of this is that, although you're better than that, although you can get whomever you want, KNOWING all of this... Doesn't help a single bit. You're already all in.
It's better to just write it, put it out there, and try my darndest to forget about it or accept it.
I just found out that Jamie's ex is staying with his mom in the UK.
While I have no problem with either of them, I have a problem with his seemingly unended relationship with her, via her things in his home (which I helped pack and move 3 times since we dated), and his extended relationship with her family and vice-versa. It's hurtful to know that you are not the only one in someone's heart. It's very painful to have promises not kept and knowing that general apathy is all you will get for the tears you weep.
All I wanted was a completely clean start. That's what I give to anyone I date, that's what I deserve and expect in return. So that things like that don't happen and catch you by surprise.
You do so much for someone, that it eats into your own activities and your life. But you don't mention it because that's what love is - it's sacrifice despite the inconvenience or subsequent trouble. And sometimes, you just want to know it's appreciated - that it was worth it because someone loves you back.
And when said person doesn't show it, it's a blow to the heart, the ego, a slap in the face, all of that - to remind you that you're exactly like that pathetic girl in the movies who hopelessly does everything for the man she loves, only to be spurned, and the everyone in the audience - they can see everything, and they egg her to break up with him, to move on, she's better than that - only she doesn't think so.
The worst thing about knowing all of this is that, although you're better than that, although you can get whomever you want, KNOWING all of this... Doesn't help a single bit. You're already all in.
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