A Different Side of Me

When I was a kid, I remember playing a little game. It was like all children's games - somewhat pointless, rather repetitive and completely incomprehensible to adults. I would be in the backseat of a car, sometimes with my cousins. I said, Hey, let's wave at the other cars and see if they wave back! So I knelt on the seat, face pressed against the window hoping hard for a red light so we could stop and see into other cars.

At first it was questionable. Would they wave back? What would they think of me? Doubts entered my mind, even at that young age - I was self-conscious; a cynic before my time. When my cousin got tired of playing the game, I would urge her on; I suppose she felt conscious, too.

The first challenge was to get people to notice me in the first place. So often we sit in our cars, completely caved in by our own surplus, the world just an inch away but really so very distant. I would make exaggerated, childish movements to get their attention. They would look at me in curiosity and puzzlement - do I know her? But I would smile and mouth a big H-E-L-L-O, and wave enthusiastically. Soon people started smiling and waving back. I'd see them talking to each other and waving to us till the light went green. What a feeling.

I took the game to a different level. I made signs that said "wave back". Today I laugh at how ridiculous I must have seemed at that point, but on hindsight, from a young age it was evident of what kind of person I was - idealistic and unaffected. I brought the signs on my school bus and for 45 minutes every day, I would kneel at the back of the bus and wave to every vehicle behind us. My bus mates joined in and soon we were counting how many wave-backs each of us got.

The feeling of being acknowledged in a positive way by an absolute stranger, with no motive other than to receive a smile or a wave is absolutely underrated. These days, we'd be hard pressed to even get a courteous Hello, or Good Morning. And when someone does take that huge leap forward to greet, we are taken aback - suspicious, even - and don't always catch ourselves in time to say Hello back.

I find myself feeling lonelier and lonelier these days. Every person mills about earning money, and even though some are contributing to the world - I wonder, to what end? Some say it's not about the end. I still think it is, but a shift in perspective of what the "end" is helps. The end is a year from now and the number of people I've helped. The end is a month from now and the number of lives I've touched. The end is tonight before I sleep - how many days I've brightened with a simple hello.

Now is a focused time with focused people. Our service industry barely gets acknowledged as people. How many names do you know, of people who have no corporate or personal value to you? The guy who makes you your morning latte? The girl who serves you dinner? We are all guilty of seeing right past people and forgetting that's exactly who they are - people just like ourselves.

And so many people know me as cutthroat. Dry, witty, sharp, spear-headed. All great qualities to thrive in today's global space. But let me introduce you to the other me, the child in me, the child very much still alive in me. A friend of mine, Lotay Yang, said once during breakfast that he has a four-strike rule. People may have a bad day - you can never know what they've just gone through and you just can't judge them based on a single, or three encounters. I agree, and feel ashamed I never thought about it that way.

But I'm an idealist - I want to be happier, I want people around me to be happier. I try my best, but I could try harder. We all could. And with all our blackberries and iphones, emails and conferences, jet-setting and skyping... maybe we could re-learn a lesson from a kid and say to the next stranger, a person just like you and I, Hey, we're just all trying to survive, I know you have challenges just like me. But I don't want to walk past you like you don't exist, because really, we all need each other in this world, and you're important to someone somewhere, too;

So, dear stranger, Hello.