I realised how acutely and acridly arrogant I am. How uncompromising and foolish and selfish. And though it feels good to know what I can change to be better, for me, for everyone... I really just want to be able to be myself and happy. 2 things. But how about the times when no one's there? During those times, it truly feels as if I can't hit rock bottom, for the simple reason that the pit in which I'm falling doesn't have an end.
The pedestal I stand on makes everyone look small, but in truth they are all collectively bigger than I. And this thing about being on a pedestal... You may be high up there, you may be soaring toward the sky, but really.
You're all alone.
"Do you ever lie awake wondering if I'm some kind of joke God is playing on you?"
"No. I lie awake worrying that you might disappear and never come back. I lie awake brooding about some of the stuff I sort of half-know about the future. But I have total faith in the idea that we're supposed to be together."
"Total faith."
"Don't you?"
"Nor time
Nor place
Nor chance
Nor death
can bow /
my least desires
unto the least remove."